If I could
I’d invent a machine,
a fantastical contraption of convulsion,
a locomotion of rip-roarrrrrring propulsion.
I’d plumb it with ebullient valves and effervescent vents,
I’d forge it a belly of g i n o r m o u s proportion. I would!
I’d feed it with images, mirages, phantasmagorical contortions,
chortling babies, gurning chaps, dancing parrots,
jiggling boobies, mad mishaps, misshapen carrots.
I’d start it off s l o w, set to a simmering chuckle,
then I’d wind it up till it snickered then snorted
then guffawed. Then I’d feed it some more, I would!
I’d stuff it with slapstick pies,
banana skin slips, rollicking gags,
video clips of fat ladies on s l i d e s.
I’d stoke it with wit and poke it with jokes
until it roared and roared and split its sides.
Until laughter rushed in a crying tide,
a tsunami of rolling hilarity,
doubling up the unbending,
shaking the shoulders of humanity.
I’d do it, I would,
If I could.
Stella Wulf hails from North Wales but now lives in South West France with her husband and a menagerie of animals. Her poems have appeared in The Screech Owl, Prole and The Sentinel Literary Quarterly (after gaining third place in their competition, September 2012). Her work has been accepted for publication by Message in a Bottle and will appear in their Spring 2015 issue. Stella has had flash fiction, poetry and articles published by AD Newspapers in Nottingham. She is also an artist and exhibits her work under her real name, Claire Jefferson. Her work can be seen on her websitehttp://www.stellawulf.com