Appointment
On a scale of one to ten
with ten being the best
how do you feel today?
My psychiatrist examines me as
I negotiate with myself
Seven, I finally say
Normally, I’m an eight
but this week has been tough
with a kidney stone attack that left me
constipated
and uncertain
The questions continue
Are you seeing or hearing things?
Do you really have a cockroach on your forehead, I ask
He smiles
I always say that
I don’t tell him about the bugs on my walls
that always run out of sight
when I turn my head
A warm up with some simple questions:
Are you drinking?
Smoking pot? Taking other drugs?
before the zingers:
Are you suicidal or homicidal?
Do you have access to weapons?
Dumb question, I think
In America, everyone has access to weapons
It’s our God-given right
protected by the Second Amendment
of the Constitution
He asks me to stick out my tongue
Very smooth, he always says
his tone congratulatory
He asks me to extend my hands
I try to keep them from shaking
My tenuous, relative sanity confirmed
we shake hands again
I go out to my 1955 Chevy pick-up
its engine simple
no computers to dumbstrike me
no radio to disturb me
a machine as simple as I am complex
Powdery blue paint flies off
as I accelerate
The bigger the brain
the more problems
That’s my motto in life
Mitchell Krockmalnik Grabois’ poems and fictions have appeared in hundreds of literary magazines in the U.S. and abroad. He is a regular contributor to The Prague Revue, and has been thrice nominated for the Pushcart Prize. His novel, Two-Headed Dog, based on his work as a clinical psychologist in a state hospital, is available for 99 cents from Kindle and Nook, or as a print edition.