(written when Michael Gove was Secretary of State for Education; after Kenneth Grahame)
The world has seen great villains,
And villainous schemes they have wove,
But never a bloke on whose name we choke
Compared with that of Gove!
The clever coves at Oxford
To logic and facts have clove,
Yet they none of them think that they’re half as bright
As talentless Mr Gove!
The MPs sat in the House and lied,
And a palace of lies they wove;
But who’s as dishonest as he is dim?
Egregious Michael Gove!
The teachers sat in their schools and wept
As to finish their marking they strove.
Who was it changed the syllabus?
Guess! It was Mr Gove.
The Goddess of Education
Sits in her library grove .
She cries, ‘Look! who’s that hideous chap?’
We answer: ‘Michael Gove!’
The schools are all dreadfully injured,
For an idiot over them drove
In a car from the 1950s.
‘Poop-poop!’ cries Mr Gove.
Dr Peter J. King
Lecturer in Philosophy, Pembroke College, Oxford OX1 1DW
Lecturer in Philosophy, St Edmund Hall, Oxford OX1 4AR